I don't understand a lot of things. I don't understand why everything needs to be so intricate. I don't understand why people hide behind their pasts, their talents, anything they can quickly grab and cover themselves up with. I don't understand multiplying and dividing inside square roots. I don't understand why everyone grips to their convictions so tightly their knuckles turn white. I don't understand why a Lennon fan killed Lennon. I don't understand why everything that's been handed to me and proved to me as right and correct, I suddenly question and fail to see true. I don't.

It seems like it's all laid out in a lovely little textbook (which I guess is true if we're talking about multiplying and dividing inside square roots) but I don't know why the human being has to be so complex. A little dandelion has the same life. It grows until some other force acts upon it. Maybe a careless shoe stomped hurridly over it, maybe someone was just eager to make a wish. Possibly the sun was just too hot and it couldn't bear living much longer. Maybe human beings are exactly like that. Maybe. Or maybe not.

There's so much world. It's not small. Who cares if a friend of yours knows a friend of yours, please don't tell me it's a small world. There's just so much. There's an expanse of land, people, places, possibilities; it's infinite. Who wouldn't find it simple just to disappear? It astounds me how detailed we are. Everything single element of one human being is so incredibly special and and distinct. From the print on our thumb to our preferences in toothpaste, we are an incredibly elaborate people.

Don't you ever ask yourself why? Don't you ever wonder why we were born to the parents we have? Why weren't we born to alpacka farmers in Lebanon? Why did genetics give you those pretty eyes or that dreadful nose or that odd pinkie toe? Why did someone choose to give you a taste for Alaskan desserts or reggae music? Why.

I look up and a I look around, and I'm baffled. Knocked right off my feet. I just don't understand.